Eight Hours and I Miss You.

"All parts of the human body get tired eventually- execpt the tounge." -Konrad Adenauer


Eight hours... It's a good thing that music is pretty much my oxygen, otherwise I would I probably would have died in the car today.
Usually dad or Pat will drive us younger folk to camp, but this year my mother has decided to take on the challenge. As it turns out, that wasn't one of the best idea's in the world. She almost killed us! First- there was the looking at texts from "What's His Face," while driving. Then there was the, almost falling asleep at the wheel. And to top it all off... My mother and I just don't see eye to eye at most times.
I guess that this car experience is better than the other ones that I've had with mom... Last time we took a really long car ride together I ended up almost dying of a asthma attack, and because I deleted a photo on my camera, I got it taken away for well... I still haven't gotten it back. Actually, I think my dad broke it. Anywho...

Going to camp tomorrow. At a hotel at the moment. Very modern. I'm tired. Frusterated. And I miss you.

More later.

Karma, Maybe?

"Men may not get all they pay for in the world; but they must certainly pay for all they get." -Frederick Douglas

One. Year. Modeling. Contract............. Fuck. Yes!

Still sad.

Felt better.

Felt worse.

Now?

Limbo.


More to come.

Out with the old, in with the new

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." -M. Kathleen Casey

I'm giving myself a week. One week to grieve, and then I'm done. Like the quote says above. It might hurt, but I'm not going to suffer through it. I'm going to move on and let go. "A heart break is a blessing from God. It's just his way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one." -Unknown. I'm so thankful for everyone that is helping me get through this. It's not as hard as I thought it was going to be, but in the same way, so much harder than I ever thought.

I got a new hair cut! I just need to change everything around! Out with old, in with the new. I got one of those new cuts that's kinda emo looking, but it doesn't really look that way on me. I also dyed a strip in the back pink. Plus I got one of those feathers that stays in your hair for like four months. It might sound like a strange hairdue but I assure you, it's awesome. This is my way of starting to let go. Take that!

When I get back from camp I'm throwing away almost all my old clothes and going vintage! I realized that the way I've been looking just isn't me. I've been so caught up in trying to make everyone like me and be like everyone else, I almost forgot that I am my own person with my own opinions and style. Yet another way of just letting go of an old school and an old me. Just you wait world! Here I come!!!

Over and out.

I'm getting there

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."

Things are getting better thanks to my great friends. I'm trying not to think about it so much which helps, but when I'm alone and have nothing to do, I can't help but let it slip back into my mind.

My bellybutton is healing finally and it looks awesome! I can't wait to change the stud.

I'm going to get my hair done today. There is like this feather thing that you can put in it and it stays in for a month and you wash it and stuff! I can't wait it's going to look so awesome.

I leave for camp on the 9th! I'll return on the 7th I think... I'm really going to miss everyone. Especially this one person. Lets call him Joe. (Don't judge me after yesterday, I'm dealing.)

More to come.

It's over and I'm not ok

"If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours, if not it wasn't meant to be."

We just broke up... I figer blogging about it might help. I really loved him and I guess I still do and will always. I mean we've almost made it through a whole year.
You know, it's so much easier to be hate someone then to miss them and feel the pain.
We hadn't seen eachother in three weeks and barely talked because we were both away doing Summer things. I wish we could have gotten together one more time just so... I don't know. UGGG! I feel like my insides are pushing their way through my skin! I don't ever want to be in another relaionship again!!!
How is it ok to hurt this much?